the cat show:
a healthy interest in all things feline or cry for thorazine?

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I shell out my $6 and get my in/out privileges, via rubber stamped paw print, and enter another dimension. Immediately I am urged, with a very heavy hand, to buy a program (only $3!) and if I do so, I'll get a really super deal ($1 off the cover price!) on a subscription to Cat Fancy magazine. Articles such as "How to Put Your Cat in Your Will," "Feline Blood: Unleashing its Mysteries," "Bengal Mania" and "Heart Worm--Cause for Concern?" call out to me. A woman who has been thumbing this month's issue chimes in with a heart-felt recommendation--she's been reading it for years and benefits immensely from its many useful tips.

I move on, subscriptionless, to the main arena, where the cats and owners wait to be called for their turn in the sun. Row upon row of cages are set up, each cage its own kitty-sized fantasy: throw pillows, lamé drapes, and to-scale furniture. Varieties of the "your affection may spread infection" sign appear in each cage--you, the unwashed masses, must never touch the royalty. And by each cage sits a guardian, almost always a woman. There is a faint male presence--the husband-in-the-background or the occasional competitor with the look and cadence of Mr. Rogers--but it's invisible in the company of Female Cat Lovers. Jersey-pantsuited, gold-sneakered, high-haired ladies perch near their baby and receive their public. Some sketch or knit. Some gobble wedge fries and Stauffer's gourmet pizzas. But most talk cat. They exchange advice and anecdotes, negotiate stud fees, and sell kittens at $400 a head.

Immediately I am pulled into a "conversation." Two other civilians are already hostages; we exchange fearful, knowing glances as a feline-fevered lass launches a description of the Christmas-themed living quarters she designed for her two Balinese champions, Fric and Frac:

...my husband built the roof and he put in a real chimney and i got this real cute santa and put him in it and i cut all these icicles out of white felt and made it look like it was snowing out and i sewed these two stockings and put their names on it and hung them in the fireplace and they never even teared them down or anything and i made red and green sheets for their bed and i was going to put in this sweet little tree but...

When she carts out the photo album, I wander out of earshot, tempted away by the puffy-painted kitty on sweatshirt and cute key chain booth.