my writing

I have a book! It's called The Secret Language of Sleep: A Couple's Guide to the Thirty-Nine Positions:

It's published by McSweeney's, and it's been featured on "Good Morning America" and in O Magazine, Penthouse Forum, Esquire, The New York Post, The National Post, I.D. Magazine, SF Weekly), and more, and it's totally available for purchase! I've also been doing a ton of readings and appearances all over the USA!

I've also typed up some things for a number of different people, including:

fray issue 1: busted!

> "Buzzkill," a moving tale about misc-labeled boxes.

wholphin dvd: issue 4

> "Fools Russian," a re-scripting of the "Schastlivy Vmeste" episode of the Russian Married with Children

edutopia

> "The Trouble with Mr. Bighead," an essay about the shortcomings of technology in the classroom
> "Techno Prisoners," an essay about the torment of seventh grade, then and now

the morning news

> "Drumroll Please," an article about the fantasticity of the drum and bugle corps phenomenon

welcome to wisteria lane (a book of essays dedicated entirely to the show Desperate Housewives)

> "The Good of the Group," an essay about the entertaining force that is the group female friendship

television without pity

> desperate housewives recaps

mighty goods

> guest contributor

mcsweeneys.net

> sleep and ice tour diary
> weight gain, neglected necks, and other sleeping-pose advice
> 80s lineups that also read like tabloid headlines
> people I'd have sex with to avoid "dialing down the middle" with carrot top, as revealed by a recent game of "who would I rather sleep with?"

mcsweeney's quarterly concern, issue 17

> the tyrolean harvest sausage catalog, featuring an array of meats, candles, vegetable-inspired spreadables, plus one padded white figurine

pokersavvy

> a novice reviews the celebrity poker showdown

the n

> dating no-nos
> what's wrong with this picture?
> dear journal
> you will read this

h2so4

> the dobler effect
> staging gracefully
> from re: re: to real
> the starbucks stops nowhere
> putting down tracks
> read my tits
> cat/sperm adoption
> a happier place on earth

> family antidotes
> hot coffee, hot love
> the cortina theory
> finding love in sf

> customer disservice

> from netscape to nightclub

> actions and batches: the automagic of photoshop
> photoshop 7.0 overview
> freelancing in the web world
> web star search
> hiring a site developer
> anatomy of a redesign -- lesson 1

And: You can find even more of my writing in my online diary, extended cake mix. And, and, and: I spent a year and a half as an advice columnist for MSN (for which I was photographed wearing a Freudian monocle and a beard); I have a short story called "The Deciding Factor," which was published in a book called The Ex-Files; I even have a résumé.