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log in to the noggin ver since the stereo's been stolen from my car, I've been forced to keep myself company with nothing but my own thoughts during an 1+hour (RT) commute. And, in the same way you get sick of the other person on a long road trip, I've found myself getting totally irritated with what my head has to say. You'd think with my mind put out to pasture, free to roam and mull over any deep life issue, I'd be getting all the dangling threads of my life snipped and tidied. But no. Instead I end up thinking about THE most mundane things. And I'll revisit them again and again. "...go to the bank in Sausalito not SF because it'll be on the right side of the street and I won't have to make a U-eee, plus the bank on Mission is closed after dark, so there's really no debate. Right. Go to the bank in Sausalito and withdraw $40 so you can pay for bridge toll and pick up a burrito, veggie perhaps, wait maybe I should get $60 since I'm going to that thing tomorrow, which I'm going to wear my black pants to, which I have to remember to wash because I was wearing them to that party where I was Solid Gold, serpentine dancing on my stomach across the muddy beer floor. Wait, didn't I leave 20 bucks in the right back pocket of those pants? Yes YES! So go to the bank in Sausalito and get $40..." And on and on and fucking on.I have no control over myself. Even if I set out to do some serious thinking, I always end up back at the bank in Sausalito. What's really weird is these are MY thoughts, right, yet they're operating in the background in a third-party kind of way, like a radio that's playing shitty talk radio at an insipidly low volume. So, rather than just thinking these embarrassingly inane thoughts straight out in an "all for one, one for all," unified, one-mind fashion, I "catch myself" thinking them, like the sane, reasonably non-boring me, who's been concentrating on driving or whatever, suddenly realizes what's been going on and is totally annoyed by this other mind that can't fucking SHUT UP! Even if there's nothing left to think, my chatty, mindless mind continues to churn out noise. Sometimes I'll tune into my thoughts to find myself saying a word or a phrase or a shitty song snippet over and over. Or even worse, just counting: "...48, 49, 50..." Here, let me give you just a taste of what I'm talking about. Odds are good, like even money, that while I've been forming the words for the above "rational" thoughts, the other part of my mind has been chittering away, churning out any one of the following:
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