Right now I am wishing I had many dollars to burn regarding this orthodonculous gold retainer necklace, which at $300 is pretty much a bargain seeing as actual, tooth-reforming retainers are probably costing a lot more than that these days?

I wonder whose mouth they got as the model…Pam Dawber, maybe. Or Al Roker? And more importantly, if I start wearing this retainer in earnest, by which I mean in my mouth, will my smile eventually take on those very star qualities?